Jul 24, 2013

Entry 62: Unreachable Redemption

Hello mommy. Hello daddy.

So where was I? Right, only one of the greatest decisions of my life.

In the end? I may now have a special spot in Hell reserved for me, but thinking back on what I've done it's the right thing. Maybe I did it out of hate. Most likely I did so. But still, the intelligent part of me always knew it was the right thing to do.

Nuke both the Legion and the NCR.

Of course, the Legion party wasn't much for hate as it was for a twisted sense of justice or even because of the competition it meant, but the NCR? Yes, hate. The intelligent part of it was yes, I may have doomed and killed lots of people's lives. Innocent people, even. On both sides. But by doing so and weakening both the NCR and the Legion I am making sure that they do not have good chances for their future, hence, not making people suffer further. For example, if I didn't launch the missiles at the Legion those people wouldn't have died, sure, but they'd suffer at the hands of the tyrant and also many more people after Hoover Dam would die as Caesar would attempt to conquer the West. Another example, if I didn't launch the missiles at the NCR, sure, those good citizens of them that play a hell of a lot of taxes to those greedy, corrupt bastards would still be alive to do so, but, by doing this, I am reassuring the future of many children that will not have to be evicted with their parents and then be abandoned, not by choice, but because there no supplies for everyone, so the child is left alone, with barely enough supplies to survive a week. Oh look at me, I got carried away. Fuckers.

So yeah, I nuked the Legion and the NCR.

I... Created an apocalipse.

And even though I just rationaly explained it, an apocalipse certainly isn't what the world needs. Not again. Not ever again.

The place started blowing up from the launch of the warheads, but I still needed to do something. I tore down the Old World flag that hung once behind Ulysses and placed it over his body. Out of respect. He did fought for his ideals. Mixed hate and motif. Just like I did with the nuclear missiles. I understood him.

I got out just in time to see two giant mushroom clouds in the West and the East. Jesus Christ. I threw up then, the thought of killing so many people at once... Oh God.

I wanted to leave the Divide, but on my way there I saw a path I hadn't seen before. Then I remembered: the nuclear missile I first launched! This was the path that led to it. So I walked it. The ground zero of a nuclear hit.

One word rulled the place:


They were every-fucking-where. Seriously. I had never seen so many together in my life. And, as you know, I've been to places. That road that connects Primm to Vegas. The Quarry Junction. The Dead Wind Cavern. The Promontory. But no... This... This was something else... The Divide was one of the most ruthless places I'd ever come across. Maybe The Divide itself was trying to get his revenge on me, not only Ulysses.

But I endure. I killed all of them. Not only them, all the heavily armed Marked Men that were there with them.

I am meant for something.

Ulysses thought he was meant to bring the Old World back. Me? I'm meant to help Mr. House correct the Old World's mistakes.

While going back to the Mojave I heard from travellers that the Long 15 - NCR territory - and the Dry Wells - Legion's territory - were hit. If they were anything like the hole I made in the Divide, filled with deathclaws trying to rip me apart, I'll have to visit them. It's my way to redeem myself for launching the nukes. I'll have to give them a chance to get back at me. Doesn't mean I'll go easy though. I won't, ever.

When I arrived at the Mojave there was a footlocker that said "Courier Six". It was from Ulysses. It had a duster with a note, for me. The duster was like his, baring the Old World flag on the back, because of what he thought of Mr. House's plans. Old World ghosts. But I'll bare it alright. I'll bare it as a sign of what once was right and wrong at the same time. As a sign of the righteousness that kept the Old World a functioning place and as a sign of the wrongness that made it go into War.

It had another note, too. Ulysses' final message. He told me that War never changes. Men do. And so do their symbols, the reason why they do what they do. So I chose to bare Mr. House's symbol and he told me that, whatever the symbol I wore, to wear it proudly at Hoover Dam, for it will change the fate of the world.

Love you,

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